Day +237

I am fine today, back to office after long Chinese New Year break.

A student came to interview me this afternoon regarding my cancer treatment experiences. She is doing a study called “The Underlying Causes of Cancer Kills: The perception towards the diagnosis of cancer influences the attitude of cancer patients on their care management and emotional well being.”

I post part of the interview here.

How much you know about cancer before your diagnosis?
In fact, I know very little about cancer, even at this moment. Before I was diagnosed with Leukaemia, I know generally cancer is a result of uncontrolled proliferation of cells in certain part of our body. My knowledge of cancer is still more or less the same now except I have a better understanding of different types of blood related cancers and their treatments: things such as a bone marrow transplant is in fact quite a common way to treat blood related diseases such as Leukeamia, Lymphoma and even anemia.

What did you feel when you were diagnosed with cancer?
I said to myself, “I found a new job!” I felt that I had a very important thing to do now; to encounter a challenge in life which is bigger than any that I met before. Accept the fact that I had this disease, face the challenge!

How did you regulate for your emotional well-being?
My Christianity faith gives me a very strong foundation in facing challenges in life. Trust the Lord all time and believe that He will lead me through whatever circumstances – even if I need to leave this world. The most important thing is to have hope and this hope can mean different thing to different people. To me, I have hope of eternal life – a life with my Lord Jesus in heaven where there is no sorrow and suffering. I am just a pilgrim of this world; my eternal home is heaven.

How is your care management in terms of pain, anxiety, lifestyle, etc?
Again trust the Lord, surrender everything to Him. Do whatever I could do and leave whatever beyond my control to God. Do not give ways to negative comments. As what I said in my Day +197 blog: “How did I shield myself from this negative environment? The very first thing to do was to relax and trust my Lord Jesus completely. Do whatever I could do and leave whatever that is beyond my control to Him. His is my pilot, it is definitely my wish to land safely, but if I ‘crashed’, I am very sure I would crash into heaven :-)”

What is your opinion towards cancer now? Does cancer kill? or it is cause by other factors?
Based on what I see throughout my treatment, the answer of this question can be ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Cancer does kill but in certain circumstances other factors such as emotional well being, attitude while receiving the treatment and arriving on right treatment decision are equal important to achieve successful treatment. For example, at one occasion, a mother whose daughter was diagnosed with blood cancer told me that her daughter was scared to death. On the other hand, I also see very positive individual failed the treatment.

See you next post :-)