Day +72

I am fine today. Just continue to talk again... I hope you don't get bored with my almost endless talking. I think I would be as talkative as my second sister very soon :-)

I met a patient in UH. We were on the same ward doing chemotherapy. He refused to fix a PICC line even we explained to him the advantages of doing it. Because his vein was not so "beautiful", so doctor had to try a few times to setup an intravenous line for him. With PICC line, he did not have to bear so much pain. His reason of not fixing the PICC was that he did not want people to know about his disease, especially his relatives. When someone sees the PICC on his arm, he has to explain what it is. We pitied him when he shake his head and said, "They are really bad..."

I believe hiding the disease is a pain by itself. So I told many people that I got this disease, be it my relatives, church members, colleagues and ex-colleagues, school mates and neighbors. When I was healthy, life was too busy until I just did not have time to keep in touch with them. But I have more time now, so I started to email them and tell them, “You would be surprised I have a new job to do.” Most of the replies said that they were not only surprised but shocked to hear this. Some of my friends just appeared suddenly to support and visit me, after we lost contact for more than 10 years.

When a vegetable seller in the market saw my bald head, she thought that I converted to Buddhist and became a “和尚” (Buddhist monk) now. I just tell anyone who asked about my disease. These include the fish seller, meat seller, chicken rice seller, the pharmacist and many people that I met after I started my chemotherapy.

Did I worried to encounter people who “幸灾乐祸”(takes pleasure in others' misfortunes)? No, no. If someone is happy because of my disease, I need not to be sad because I make someone happy :-) But I can assure you that this type of people is extremely rare :-)

See you next post :-)