Thursday, January 15, 2009

Day +925 : Marriage Lesson (2)

I am fine today.

When we were sharing what we learned from the first few “Building Your Marriage” lessons, one couple said that they learned a lot. They used to quarrel. After the lessons, they still quarrel but only to discover that they could not complete it. They were reminded that they need to accept each other halfway and the quarrel stopped :-)

Apart from this, the wife said that his husband was very strict to their children which made them very afraid of him. However, the children showed no respect to him. The way the father treated the children was just like a commander training his soldiers. So these pitiful children were undergone national services all year round :-( That is why they called their father commander (总司令).

After the lessons, the father became much kind and gentle to the children.

My situation was quite a kind of reverse than this family. My wife and I have to serve four commanders (4 children) all year round. Whenever I tried to gain back my commandership, the children will say that I am a bad father :-(

“You see this bad Baba issuing command again!” they complained when I was a little bit strict.

In order to avoid being called bad Baba, I will have to twist a little bit when I wanted them to do something.

“Joseph and Daniel, please do your work! This is not a command but you have to follow.”

They were more willing to follow instruction after knowing that it was not a command :-)

Command pushes the children away from us. Kindness and gentleness draw them to us. However, when we are kind and gentle all the time, they might become indiscipline and that is when we need to seek help from Mr. Rotan :-)

See you next post :-)

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