Day +1527 : Growing beauty

I am fine today.

It is our instinct to love beauty. We dream of finding beautiful spouse and after getting married, bearing beautiful children. Getting a beautiful wife or having a beautiful child becomes something that we all proud of.

But different people view beauty differently. Some people are very particular about outer beauty and some are more concerned about inner beauty. Then naturally we come to the question - outer beauty and inner beauty, which one is more important?

I believe inner beauty is a lot more important and this is especially applicable for those who wish to look for a spouse. This is because inner beauty grows and outer beauty only diminishes.

If you have an extremely beautiful wife, then there is not much room for her beauty to grow anymore, and in most cases I believe, what you are facing everyday is a wife with a diminishing beauty. If this goes on for years, as she grows older and older, what you get eventually is certainly an ugly wife :-(

But if what attracts you is her inner beautify, then there is plenty of room for growth. If your wife is the one who support you, take care of you, faithful to you and always understand you, you will feel that she becomes more and more beautiful. So in contrast to outer beauty, as the years go on, and as she grows older and older, she will appear more and more beautiful.

I lost my maid passport after renewing her work permit a few weeks ago. I discovered it when I was about to book air ticket for the year end holiday. It is definitely not a trivial task to get another passport for the maid. I told my wife about this. She didn’t show any unhappiness or cursed me as some wives might do. And what made me very happy was that she found the passport for me a few days later. What a relief! And of course, what a beautiful wife she is!

And almost at the same time, I found out that my driving license was missing. I had to drive without a driving license for about two weeks, including fetching my “sister” from the airport. Again, I told my wife, and she found it for me without a single word of complaint and displeasure. What a relief! What a beautiful wife!

I have a wife that grows older and older but getting more and more beautiful. This is a very good experience.

So for those who are looking for a life partner, please don’t just look for outer beauty, give inner beauty – one that grows – a serious consideration :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +1300 : “I like you!” is not enough

I am fine today.

Following what I mentioned in Day +1293 : “I like you so much!”, I also practise it on my wife by saying “I like you!” every day.

I expected her to be happy with this good practice but she told me otherwise.

“Not enough!” she said.

“You are good to everyone and like everyone in the church. There is nothing different!” she continued :-(

“I love you!” I said to her and she was very happy with this.

Now I understand that she likes me to treat her special among all and I believe so do your wife or your husband :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +1297 : It’s just a point of difference

I am fine today.

A couple was late for an appointment in the morning.

When they just about to leave the house, the husband noticed that a pile of clothes that supposed to be hanged to dry under the sun was lying in the basket.

He volunteered to hang the clothes and in a rush, he broke his wife’s favourite flower pot.

What would be the reaction of the wife? There are two extreme possibilities that bring very different outcome.

A positive wife will appreciate what her husband did – hanging the clothes for her.

A negative wife will blame her husband for breaking the flower pot.

Positive and negative is separated by just a point but the outcome of which side she chooses to stand can be very different.

A negative wife will suffer because she loses a favourite flower pot.

A positive wife would be happy because her husband is so helpful and caring.

Which side would you prefer to stand?

See you next post :-)

Day +1295 : “Hey! I am not a piano!” (2)

I am fine today.

Continue from yesterday...

When I invited someone to attend an event or look into certain issues, I would get three types of responses:

1. no response
2. a simple response such as Yes or No
3. a response with some elaboration

A response with elaboration is the one that makes me very happy.

Similarly, if a husband doesn’t go back for dinner, he can do the following:

1. Do nothing
2. Inform his wife that he is not going home for dinner
3. Inform his wife that he is going home for dinner with reason

I believe his wife will be very happy if he can inform her on his absent for dinner with some reason.

Response with sufficient elaboration promotes understanding and good relationship :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +1294 : “Hey! I am not a piano!” (1)

I am fine today.

Adriel don’t like the maid to wake her up and dress her in the morning. She insisted that I should be the one who did it.

One day, while I was taking off her pyjamas, I started to get a little bit naughty and tickled her body. She was defenceless as her face was covered with pyjamas with both hands constrained inside it.

“Hey! I am not a piano!” she shouted in laughter.

“The piano is there!” she continued and pointed to the piano in the living room.

“The piano is long. I am tall” she elaborated.

I believe she is trying to teach me how to distinguish a piano from her :-)

Just a little bit of explanation or elaboration such as this made me very happy :-) And with this, I understand her better.

To be continued and see you next post :-)

Day +1293 : “I like you so much!”

I am fine today.

Peoples in Eastern culture are generally implicit in expressing their feeling. They tend to hide their feeling deep inside their heart. It is embarrassing for even husband and wife or parents and children to say “I love you” or “I like you” :-(

Adriel is very explicit is expressing his feeling towards us. Very often, she would say “Baba, I like you very much” and sometimes, she also said “I don’t like you anymore”. Aaron followed her and started to say “I like you” very often :-) And I also follow them to say “I like you” almost every day.

I found I am a happier person after saying “I like you” :-) If you are still embarrassed to say it, force yourself to say at least once, and once you say it once, it would be easier for you to say the rest. And I guarantee you will be a lot happier after that :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +973 : A sharing about the marriage lesson

I am fine today. I would like to share with you what I had shared. It is written in Chinese. 

这个课程提醒我沟通是非常重要的。无法好好沟通的夫妻通常是很麻烦的。有一些夫妻住在同一间屋子，睡在同一张床，却要以sms来沟通。不知是不是这sms玩意儿太好玩了，所以爱不释手，跟配偶大完一场。如果是这样，那还不错。

但往往情形并不是如此，乃是夫妻的关系出了问题，以致虽然每天面对面，却无法面对面的沟通。不能沟通的婚姻随时面对破产。因为彼此不知道对方想什么，因此产生许多的误会。

我太太有时担心我喜欢别的女人，失去了安全感。我就要很耐心的向她解释。之后就没事了。我想有时太太只是试一试，看看先生有何反应。但男人有时就是吞不下被太太冤枉的这一口气，理直气壮的大发脾气。一发脾气，太太就更觉得她所怀疑的是对的。结果后果不堪设想。所以学习放下自己是很好的。

我的大姐博见多闻，看尽人生百态，有说不尽的故事可以与我们分享。他说到他认识一对夫妇，作妻子的不但唠叨不停，对先生也极其苛刻。先生为了抗议，从此封口，不跟太太说话。

我大姐好奇心重，不明白的事情总要问到底，直到水落石出为止方罢休。她看到这个家庭有几个孩子，就觉得很奇怪。为什么没有讲话可以有孩子呢？不讲话那里知道什么时候「造人」呢？于是她就问妻子这个问题。答案是「捏一捏手」。原来「捏一捏手」就是「造人」的讯号。

在这样情况下还可以维持婚姻的可说是个少之又少。这个课程提醒我要聆听、体谅、明白太太的需要。我还需要努力做得更好。

我们在这个婚姻课程里作了一个练习；在十五分钟内写出25个配偶满足你的需要。我写了28个。还有许多还没有写的。我很开心喜乐，原来神给我这么一个好太太。所以就是你给我全世界所有的女孩，我还是选她。她不完全，但我们的配合却是完全的。She is not perfect, but definitely she is a perfect match to me。

我觉得太太越来越可爱。她有时担心她的身材「走样」。但我跟她说我就是喜欢这个样子。她那个样子我都喜欢。

我们的婚姻关系基本上还好。但这并不意味着这个课程对我们没有什么帮助。我们还是从中得到许多的帮助。这个课程提醒我们许多要改善的地方。希望我们能真正按照神的蓝图来建立我们的婚姻。

See you next post :-)

Day +970 : Staying Close – 永续亲密

I am fine today.

My wife and I attended a very special event last night organised by our church. The event, “Staying Close”, was a valentine event specially designed for couples in our church with the purpose of refreshing our sweet memory when we were dating. Apart from this, we learned the principle of staying close and recommitted to each other by taking the oath of marriage again :-)

The event was held at Prada Café at No.19, Jalan.Puteri 1/4, Bandar.Puteri Puchong, somewhere near the Giant Hypermarket. We chartered the café from 7:00pm to 10:00pm.

There were 17 couples turned up for the event.

Candle, rose, good foods, nice environment, game, sermon and husband-wife togetherness made the event a wonderful one :-)

You must join us next year and I am sure you would a have very different Valentine’s Day :-)

The theme of the event - Staying Close (Click to get a larger view)
A rose for you, darling. It has been so long you didn't buy me rose...
The wine
The muffins 
Fruit salad
Mushroom soup
Lamp chop - my wife and I didn't order this
Chicken chop - our order
Pork chop - our oder. We shared :-)
The garlic sauce
Dessert
And the drinks
Signing the oath of marriage again
The oath of marriage - click to have a larger view
Announcing the champion of the night, Mr & Mrs William, married for 32 years!
And last, I must post this one. A happy and cute girl participating in daddy and mommy's valentine celebration :-)
See you next post :-)

Day +962 : Happy Day

I am fine today.

“Happy Day” is a type of steamed cake.

When my wife and I were dating more than 20 years ago, she used to give me “Happy Day” to eat :-) At that time, the cake was made by my mother-in-law.

My wife decided to make “Happy Day” for me today :-) She said the cake would recall sweet memory of the initial period of our long lasting relationship :-)

The cake is still good, as good as before. My wife is still attractive, as attractive as before :-)

The cake
In the baking tin
See you next post :-)

Day +954 : My money, your money

I am fine today.

The instructor who conducted the marriage lesson in our church told us one interesting experience that he had with his wife. His wife kept her bank accounts and savings secret from him even long time after they got married. He said he didn’t know why her wife behaved as such but I guess, she must be worried that her husband might abuse her savings. So it was safer to keep it secret.

We found out later that many couples in the group also experienced this kind of situation. And I believe the reason this happens is because the couple still haven’t establish a level of trust where they could fully trust each other. The “secret” somehow gives them a sense of security; if you betray me, I still have money :-)

When my wife and I got married, we didn't have much – no car, no house, no properties, and no savings. And I also don’t mind to tell you that even the marriage expenses was bored by my mother which we only managed to pay back many years later :-)

Apart from an old motorcycle, we had none. But the important thing is that we have each other :-) Since we had nothing, it was even easier for us to trust each other completely :-)

We didn’t have to keep secret of each other’s savings. My money is your money and your money is my money.

Until today, my wife still entrusted all her bank accounts to me. This means that whenever I encounter any financial shortage, I just transfer money from her account :-) She never bothers how much I transfer from her account and also don’t even bother how much balance she still has.

She trusts me and I trust her, and with this, life is wonderful :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +944 : “Can you tell me one good thing about your husband?”

I am fine today.

A church member who was deeply unsatisfied with her husband experienced an emotional collapse during the Chinese New Year. She was crying and wailing at home. My wife and I rushed to the scene after receiving a call from her husband.

It took us about 30 minutes to calm her down through singing Christian songs.

After that, she started to complain about her husband. She was pouring out tons of complaints that made anyone present breathless, and some of these complaints were about matters that happened many years ago. She got a wonderful memory in this sense, unfortunately. We saw a heart full of bitterness and hatred, and of course this lead to a miserable life, not only for herself but for everyone in the family.

“Can you tell me one good thing about your husband?” I asked.

“None!” she answered without hesitation.

With this, we came to a conclusion that the problem was more on the wife’s side. It is impossible for her not to recall one good thing about her spouse in almost 20 years of marriage, but bitterness and hatred make this possible.

Complaint leads to a miserable life and appreciation result in a joyful life.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

A joyful life is a life that give thanks in all circumstances :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +925 : Marriage Lesson (2)

I am fine today.

When we were sharing what we learned from the first few “Building Your Marriage” lessons, one couple said that they learned a lot. They used to quarrel. After the lessons, they still quarrel but only to discover that they could not complete it. They were reminded that they need to accept each other halfway and the quarrel stopped :-)

Apart from this, the wife said that his husband was very strict to their children which made them very afraid of him. However, the children showed no respect to him. The way the father treated the children was just like a commander training his soldiers. So these pitiful children were undergone national services all year round :-( That is why they called their father commander (总司令).

After the lessons, the father became much kind and gentle to the children.

My situation was quite a kind of reverse than this family. My wife and I have to serve four commanders (4 children) all year round. Whenever I tried to gain back my commandership, the children will say that I am a bad father :-(

“You see this bad Baba issuing command again!” they complained when I was a little bit strict.

In order to avoid being called bad Baba, I will have to twist a little bit when I wanted them to do something.

“Joseph and Daniel, please do your work! This is not a command but you have to follow.”

They were more willing to follow instruction after knowing that it was not a command :-)

Command pushes the children away from us. Kindness and gentleness draw them to us. However, when we are kind and gentle all the time, they might become indiscipline and that is when we need to seek help from Mr. Rotan :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +918 : Marriage lesson (1)

I am fine today.

As an effort to strengthen the marriage among couples in the church, our church conducts lessons on “Building Your Marriage” on Saturday night fortnightly. We engaged an external pastor couple from Campus Crusade to lead us in the lesson. Many couples, both young and old in term of marriage age, attended the lessons.

We learned how to build strong marriage based on Biblical principle. Many couples, including my wife and me, learned a lot from the lessons.

We also get to know a lot of interesting stories through the sharing session during the lesson. A wife complained that her husband never invited her for a private meal after marriage. They already married for at least 20 years, and I believe her husband must have invited her for meals very often before marriage.  But after marriage, things had changed and she was quite disappointed with her husband. “I am waiting!” she said angrily.

We tend to do a lot of good things to our partner before marriage but stop doing them after getting married. This change might upset our partner and even spoil our relationship.

One thing to keep our partner happy is to continue doing things that pleased our partner like before marriage. I am sure this will serve as an important factor in strengthening marriage relationship.

See you next post :-)

Day +858 : Richard won his case again (2)

I am fine today. Continue from yesterday…

During the hearing, Richard cleverly pointed out that the deposit should only be withheld should the renovation works leave uncleared debris or resulting damage of public properties. He presented the relevant clause in the agreement to the judge.

After studying the agreement, the judge agreed that IOI Building Services is in fact abusing the terms governing the purpose of the deposit, and ordered the company to refund the deposit to Richard within 14 days :-)

Richard also asked for compensation in term of interest as the refund should be done in year 2005. However, the judge told him that it is beyond the tribunal court's jurisdiction to award any compensation beyond the basic claim. Compensation in term of interest, suffering, insult and tarnished image can only be awarded in higher court.

The success of this case is very significant especially to those residents whose deposits are withheld illegally by IOI Building Services. The company has now lost its ground for keeping the residents' deposit and I believe they will get their deposits back very soon :-)

This is the second time Richard filed consumer dispute to consumer tribunal. He won the first case as well :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +857 : Richard won his case again (1)

I am fine today.

As I mentioned earlier, Richard attended the consumer tribunal hearing on Thursday. His case was against the IOI Building Services, his condominium management company.

Residents staying in the condominium had to pay RM1000 as deposit before carrying out renovation. The company has to refund the deposit if the renovation works do not incurred cost to the management such as clearing debris and repairing damages of public properties due to the renovation.

The company was reluctant to return the deposit, giving the reason that Richard violated the house rule by installing a grill in an inappropriate place. Richard then took photos of 49 units of the condominiums that violated the house rules as well, and found out that owners of 44 units had already get back their deposit. It is very clear that the IOI Building Services is exercising double standard in handling the deposit refund.

The condominium residents have jointly established a management body than resume the role of IOI Building Services. That means IOI Building Services has to transfer all deposits that it hold to the new management. However, Richard told me the company kept quiet about the deposits, leaving doubt to people that whether they want to "swallow" the money.

Richard has been chasing after the company for refund since year 2005 until such a point that the building manager ignored all his telephone calls. Without much choice, Richard brought the case to consumer tribunal.

To be continued and see you next post :-)

Day +856 : Honey, I lost the case (2)

I am fine today. Continue from yesterday…

The judge explained that there are two probabilities that could cause the engine overheat; workshop negligence and driver’s driving behavior. But since I am the claimant, and the workshop is a defendant, the burden of proof lies with me. The workshop owner said that the engine was overheated due to over speeding, and my argument is that the car was driven by a young lady (in fact she is not the one who drive the car :-)) at a rainy night, and thus there should be no over speeding.

But the problem is how am I going to prove that over speeding didn’t happen? I told the judge that it is almost impossible to prove a driver’s driving behavior, which he agreed. With this burden of proof, the claim failed, and this mean I lost the case :-(

The hearing was done in a very relaxing atmosphere. In fact, the session was carried out like a discussion rather than those serious hearing as in the higher courts where you can see the lawyers grilling witnesses. No lawyers are allowed in consumer tribunal court. The claimants and defendants have to defend their cases themselves.

One interesting thing was that we can bring along somebody who can argue the case very well to help us. For example, in this morning hearing, Richard also came forward half way in the hearing, trying to put forward a point, and I was quite surprised that this act was allowed :-)

The judge that was presiding over the cases this morning is young. When he wanted to make the judgment, he always said, “Don’t angry with me ( for making this judgment) .”

“Don’t worry, we abide by your decision,” we responded.

Even though I lost the case, I learned and experienced a lot through the case, thanks to my brother Richard to act as my “legal consultant”. And this time, I really became a troublesome man to the workshop owner; an act that fulfill his prophesy. Remember? When I asked him for a formal quotation for major overhaul, he said that I am a troublesome man and thus he was not interested to service my car.

It is not troublesome for me at all because Richard filed the case for me together with his case. I just have to do some writing to describe the case and then follow Richard to the hearing this morning.

If you encounter a dispute with a value less than RM25,000, try to resolve it through customer tribunal, and I believe you can engage Richard as your consultant :-) Filing the case cost RM5 only.

Take a photo at the tribunal court after the hearing - a happy loser :-)

Sssh... Hearing is going on
See you next post :-)

Day +855 : Honey, I lost the case (1)

I am fine today.

I sent the above message to my wife this morning telling her that I lost a tribunal case :-(

I brought the car engine overheating incident that happened on 24 August, 2008 to the consumer tribunal and the hearing was fixed this morning.

The detail of the car engine overheat incident can be found in the following blog entries:

Day +782 : It happened again :-) (1)
Day +783 : It happened again :-( (2)
Day +784 : It happened again :-( (3)
Day +785 : It happened again :-( (4)
Day +786 : It happened again :-( (5)
Day +787 : It happened again :-( (6)
Day +806 : The bill = RM4299

In this case, I try to claim half of the cost that is attributed to the engine overheat repair from Twine Auto Services, the workshop that assured me the car cooling system was functioning properly. The total amount that I claim is RM1694.5.

I went to the tribunal court in the PKNS building, Shah Alam at 8:00am with my brother Richard, who is also attending a hearing session on a dispute of deposit refund from IOI Building Services, the condominium management company.

My ground of claim is based on contributory negligence – a term I learned from the judge today. The argument is that if the workshop didn’t assure me that the cooling system is functioning well, I would be more careful and thus the overheating incident might be avoided. It is no doubt that the driver has to bear the responsibility, however, the workshop owner should also be held responsible for the incident.

Secondly, the workshop didn’t perform a thorough examination of the cooling system before handing the car over to me because the car broke down within 45 minutes on the way from Puchong to Melaka. If it was thoroughly checked, the incident would be avoided.

With these valid arguments, I should win the case. But unfortunately, under such situation, the party who make the claim (claimant), has to prove something that is almost impossible to prove; the driving behavior of the driver :-(

To be continued and see you next post :-)

Day +847 : How much can happiness be bought?

I am fine today.

While I was re-filling petrol at a gas station yesterday, a man approached me and talked to me in Cantonese, a dialect which is beyond my comprehension. I shook my hand, signaling him that I couldn’t understand what he was talking about.

He walked away and talked to a van driver. It seemed that he was asking for something, but he was turned away. Then he looked for a car driver, and then a lorry driver, all of them turned him away.

I suspected that he needed some kind of assistance, whether a true need or just trying to bluff so that he could get something he wanted. Anyway, I felt sorry about him and at the same time admired his braveness and persistency.

I waved at him and he came to me again. I asked him to talk in Chinese. He said that he forgot to bring along his wallet and his motorbike was running out of petrol. He needed some money to fill the petrol.

“How much do you need?” I asked.

“Two ringgit.”

That is very easy to fulfill :-) I gave two ringgit to him straight away.

He is happy, and I am happy.

You see, with just two ringgit, you and me, and he, and all of us can have happiness :-)

See you next post :-)

Day +646 : An extra large T-shirt (2)

I am fine today. Continue from yesterday...

On way to make the T-shirt fit me nicely is to “grow” myself to become extra large. I should eat a lot, and eat frequently, and eat fatty food, and should not exercise and … After sometime, my body will “grow” extra large until the T-shirt fit me perfectly.

But doing this:

• I will destroy my health.


• I will lose my happiness because eating too much is definitely very uncomfortable.


• I won’t be able to wear all existing clothes, except this new extra large T-shirt.

In the end, I will be an unhappy man wearing this extra large T-shirt - a man who loses many things for a small gain :-) This is exactly what a Chinese proverb said, 人心不足蛇吞象(People can be as greedy as a snake trying to swallow an elephant).

In contrast, if I give this extra large T-shirt to an extra large person, then I won’t have all the trouble that I mentioned above. The one who receive the T-shirt will be happy too but I will be even happier than him/her, and happiness brings good health, and …

“It is more blessed to give than to receive,” the Bible says. This is very true. I see many who share generously receiving tremendous blessing from God. They become happier, richer and earning respect and trust from people surrounding them.

The XL TechEd SEA 2008 Limited Edition T-shirt. Even though the organizer offer to replace it with a smaller size one, but I decided to give it away to someone with the "capital(本钱)" to wear it :-)
See you next post :-)

Day +645 : An extra large T-shirt (1)

I am fine today.

I registered for TechEd South East Asia (SEA) 2008 during the Heroes happen here event two days ago. TechEd SEA is Micoroft’s premier and largest annual conference which draw crowd not only from Malaysia but many other countries. It is very fortunate that the event is held in Malaysia most of the time.

“This year, you will get to learn, connect, explore, evaluate, problem-solve and ultimately experience and realize the full potential not only of the technology, but of your own!” This is what Microsoft advertises on their TechEd SEA website.

Registering for the conference during the Heroes happen here event two days allow me to have RM50 off the RM699 early bird promotion price and a free TechEd SEA 2008 Limited Edition T-Shirt. I am quite happy with this offer :-) But I was surprised to find out later than the T-shirt that was given to me was of extra large (XL) size whereas my body is of medium size only.

How am I going to wear the T-shirt? Should I insist of wearing the T-shirt, it will either just drop off any time from my body or it will cover my hands until you can’t find them, or you might even mistakenly thought that I am wearing a giant miniskirt :-)

To be continued and see you next post :-)